The Urge

The urge is high. But thigs in life will not control me, I control me.  Sometimes I feel weak and the part of me that has softened my light screams... I hold my head up and I will swing from the chandelier like tomorrow doesn't exist... I want to... I will.  I tell myself this... I will will myself to win this battle of addiction... Addiction says it's right.  Addiction says I'll be better with it.  Addiction says I'll be calm and clear with it.  Im facing a storm baby.  And the addiction of escape through sleep screams that it is the only thing that will stop it.  But I don't want to sleep my hours away, eyes closed or red eyes squinting open... I want to see like I believe the people I see running see... Crisply, with true clarity and a sober high