Freak Out. Thank God I'm practicing sobriety.

I pray and cry to God, "Please, please take this away from me (my BiPolar)" Alongside this desperate prayer I hear a string of words, "gift", "strength"... The voice speaking truth that with great adversity comes great strength. Just as I must train my tired brain and muscles to excersize, I will also be able to direct my mind in its thoughts.... Though I will never be rid of ups and downs and feelings of self defeatedness for words I have spoken and actions I have taken suddenly at the spur of a trigger to which I am unaware of until after, I will become stronger in knowing that my BiPolar does not define me, I do. God give me grace to remember and strength to continually ground myself in these truths.